A way of looking

Not all who wander are lost or aimless.

Sometimes, life presents one with too many options it paralyzes one from choosing. 

I just hope I'm making the right choice even if the words of Eldric comes to my mind "How many times do I have to tell you? There is no book Pacita!"

Hainaku dric, your sermons haunt me your turning into my conscience na. Pero friend thanks pa rin. Note:tungkol sa career tong iniisip k. I'll probably bug you about it when I've decided.

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I have no idea what made me think 210 is the room number for the V office. I've edited that already after several of my friends corrected me and asking what made me think of 210 instead of 112. For the life of me, I still have no idea. Must be some mind block.

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"Magshopping ka na lang!"

I got that comment last Saturday. From whom, it doesn't matter. I know I could be makulit sometimes and at that time I was projecting excitement for someone who was about to present his thesis.  But I never realized the extent of how much people see me as just an ornament if not for this. That Marisse is only good for her smile, her sweetness and wow, something new, her shopping prowess.

Makes me think if I shouldn't smile so much. One photo I posted shows what a failure I am to look decently angry.  Maybe I could be like my sister Pau and just raise my brows everytime I meet someone.  That always makes people nervous. I do the opposite coz I pity the other person. So I welcome them with my smile.  Tsk. Tsk. I never thought good manners was the golden ticket if you don't want to be taken seriously.

I just wish I'm not always incredibly perky.  Or expected to be so. Or more importantly, thought of only as that.

I've a brain too you know. It's sad if everyone thinks this way.  Not just with me but with all other females. Women are not just good for shopping or cooking or dressing up!  We do so much more for this world and have gone through so much without losing our heart.  And smiling so much shouldn't lead to being thought of as superficial.

I was excited not only for the one I was teasing at that time but because I'm in geek mode every Saturday. I did not sleep Friday night to finish our group's synthesis report. I was excited on the account of too much caffeine in my system.

I know I shouldn't care so much. I've got my circle who recognizes me the way I really am. They alone appreciate my dreams and my goals in life, short or long term.  One has seen the list of my planned activities for the next few months, none of them includes shopping. Ha!

The remark was probably made offhand, not even meant to be hurtful. It's just saddening that however far one has gone through with her career or studies, one could still find oneself boxed in a certain stereotype. Society is full of their uh, kind. One would find it difficult to change other people and their biases.  Even if one has already proved them wrong, and continually do so, they will never ever see it.  They will never ever see me.