On Kindness

My Kuya Aldo calls me manic-depressive. I guess that’s coz I’m always taken with extremes.

 

After the New Year incident, I feel like the world is allowing me to redeem my inability to help the beggar child with the opportunities given to me at work.

 

As part of the External Affairs’ 2006 action plan, there is a need for proper synchronization of the company’s community support programs and a review of the donation policies. Good tasks of course. I’m excited to take part in implementing those changes.

 

I wish I have a frozen heart while I do my work though.

When I read letters encoded using a typewriter from some far-flung school asking for computers, I get heavy hearted. But at least my job helps me feel that I’m not at all useless amidst such misery. Pity is such a waste of time if one does not do anything

 

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On second thought…

 

 “I’ve learned that to be kind is more important than to be right. That sometimes, a person’s need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.”

 

I got this text from Mom a long time ago. Good ol mom. She’s a saint really. Even when I was still a kid, she taught me to keep my mouth shut if I feel like saying something hurtful.

 

I agree with her then and I’ve tried following that advice most of the time.

 

Lately, though, I don’t know if keeping the silence is a good thing. I worry for many persons in my life. Illness, sadness, confusion, maybe a friend of mine’s right, I’ve a tendency to take in the lost. I insist on fixing people. And yet in the end I realize that…

 

Reaching out is quite difficult if one is not sure if one is welcome. I’ve been told and have come to accept that sometimes, some are better left alone. They will be able to fend for themselves as they have done in the past, withdrawing from my offer of consolation.

 

I’m also not able to correct a misconception if there ever was one since I know it would complicate things more. If only I could hold the hands of everybody all at the same time, ask factions to make up, forget past conflicts. But it’s no business of mine really and choices have already been made. I have abided by my principle to not interfere, however I was (almost?) wrongfully blamed for saying something. Not true.

 

I will keep silent still. Be kind. Try to be like Mom by this. I’m at a phase where I’m discovering who I really am and if I’m in a hurry with other parts of my life (career and studies) maybe I could pause in some other aspects.  Compartmentalize. Give my soul a reprieve for caring too much.

 

Ah. Tired soul be damned. I wish they know I’m always here for them.

 

Comments

[Natasha]

saint marisse. sorry the world doesn't work that smoothly. --queen bitchy, hehe.

[Maria Cecilia]

what can i say...? I am always or most of the time the caused of trouble in the office because I always say what I wanted to say... learned my lessons anyway